


Gossip

by Deadly Night_Sh1ft (CrookedMath)



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Criminal Pardons, Defending A Friend, Eventual Romance, Friendship, Gender Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, Office bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 06:38:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11202516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrookedMath/pseuds/Deadly%20Night_Sh1ft
Summary: Have you ever wondered what the ladies at the dispatch office talk about during their lunch hour? You're about to find out, and it's not very nice. That's just putting it mildly.This is a sequel to "Closing Old Wounds". Once again, Grell is the star of the show and I'm bringing back my OC, Vera, because I can.***DISCLAIMER*** I do not own Kuroshitsuji or its characters. That honor goes to Yana Toboso





	Gossip

**Author's Note:**

> Grell is always the lady she says she is. She is only referred to in the male pronoun as necessary for the context of the story.  
> There are disparaging remarks about Grell's gender made in this work as well as a reference to committing suicide (which is not to be glorified or encouraged). **You have been warned.**  
> Enjoy.

It's lunch time on any typical day as The Five gather at the circular table near the back of the cafeteria. Somehow, they all manage to get their lunch hour at the same time even though three of them work in the same department. A certain reaper had been pardoned by the Council for her alleged crime of going rogue and was waiting for her lover to return from his hearing for the pardon she worked hard to secure for him. If she was successful in getting him pardoned, then she would work to get a certain so called "freak's" record expunged of a major infraction by declaration of insanity.

_If it works for my Adrian, it will work for my dear spider lily._

Something caught the pardoned reaper's sharp ears.

"Supposedly, this girl is some kind of legend, and to think she's friends with some kind of tranny freak!" Sally said with disdain. The head of accounting jabbed her fork into her salad and shook her head in disgust. "Why anyone would give that red headed _thing_ the time of day is beyond me." She tossed a light brown curl over her shoulder and shoved a fork full of salad into her mouth.

Mary and Beth, the twins who worked in general affairs, nodded and giggled in agreement at their peer's disgust, blond curls bouncing vigorously. They discreetly pointed and giggled behind their hands as they eyed Grell, the subject of their vicous gossip, walk through the cafeteria. Katy, William T. Spears' secretary, made a flippant remark about how Grell's coat was out of style, and the proof was he (she called Grell a he!) acquired it from a corpse. The whole table burst out laughing.

None of The Five were remotely aware that the only female legend in reaper history was sitting a couple of tables away, out of sight, but within earshot. A wicked grin spread over her pale, scarred face as she continued listening to the sheltered office workers. The legendary lady laughed to herself, "Foolish little girls. What the fuck do they know about field work? I'd love to see them reap a soul. Just one."

Finally, a black haired girl from general affairs known simply as Mel, but to The Five she was the Informant because she was the greatest source of office gossip, spoke up. "You know what I heard?" she said with dramatic flair. "That Grell slept with Undertaker and that demon, what's his name...oh, Sebastian, while still trying to chat up William." Mel paused dramatically. When she saw Grell heading to a table in their general direction, a sadistic grin graced her lips. "That _man_ calls itself a woman," Mel announced in an unnecessarily loud voice. "What a vacuous piece of shit. Why doesn't it kill itself already? It can't even do its job! AND, I heard since Ronald Knox got promoted, that freak is training a _real_ girl. Let's hope she comes back alive." The table erupted in raucous laughter.

Mel felt violent tapping on top of her head. She spun around with a grimace, facing a tall, slender female with long, purple dreadlocks pulled neatly in a low ponytail. The grinning reaper planted her Death Scythe on the floor beside her with a metallic clang. The silvery blue weapon was as intimidating as she was. The bottom of the of the scythe was split in two with sharp points at either end. The split was two feet on either side, then merged into the long skeletal tail of a mermaid which served as the shaft. When the tail met the body, it morphed into the partially decayed remains of said mermaid. Around its neck was something resembling twisted fishing net that wound its way into the open, screaming mouth, out of which jutted a massive blade similar to that of a harpoon's. "As you can see, I'm quite whole," the dreadlocked reaper stated coolly. She looked at each of The Five with scrutinizing, toxic green eyes. "Is there a problem with my Senpai?" the intimidating trainee asked with a feigned innocent smile.

Mel, the tallest of the group, stood up to the trainee field agent, only to be further intimidated by her towering height. Mel pretended not to let the younger woman's size bother her. "As a matter of fact, I do have a problem with your _Senpai_ , whoever you are." Each word was spat like venom.

The dreadlocked reaper remained composed, which further intimidated and infuriated The Five at the same time. "Forgive my lack of manners. I am Arashi," the other said with a bow. Suddenly, the smile she had on her face became a menacing sneer. Mel was throat to blade with an intimidating Death Scythe and a _very_ pissed off reaper looming over her. "I would highly advise you to stop talking shit about MISS Sutcliff, if I were you." Arashi rose to her full height, brushing stray dreadlocks from her face while keeping the scythe at Mel's throat. "If any of you fuck with Undertaker, I'll use your skulls as cereal bowls." She looked down and shot each of The Five a creepy, menacing grin. "Are we clear?"

The other ladies stared without response. Mel felt the massive blade leave her throat. "You psycho!" she yelled after the intimidating reaper.

Arashi giggled. "Runs in the family. Toodles!" She continued on to her destination with a bounce in her step, beloved scythe by her side without looking back.

"What a creep!" Sally hissed.

"Remind you of anyone?" Mary asked slyly.

"Oh my death! No!" The Five cried out in unison.

"You mean Undertaker? Do you think that they're related? She looks just like him." Katy exclaimed. "Anyway, how the hell is he even a legend? I mean, he's a fugitive and he's a creepy mortician who built zombies! Zombies! And, I bet he had sex with them too."

"He used to be so hot," Beth mused. "Now he's covered in icky scars."

"I heard he got them because he wouldn't give back his Death Scythe," Mel cut in. "A necrophiliac psycho and a thief! Go figure!"

"And, he can't dress for shit," Katy added, rolling her eyes. "But still, about the purple headed girl. You guys didn't answer me. Do you think she's related to Undertaker?"

"Why don't you ask her. She's behind you," Sally said, pointing behind Katy.

Katy slowly turned her head, afraid of the massive blade Arashi was wielding. "Well, are you related to that creep?" she demanded in her most snooty voice.

"Why yes. He's my uncle," Arashi replied with a smirk. "I pity your sick fantasies of my uncle in compromising positions with corpses. I think that speaks more of your subconscious than it does of my uncle's actions, or rather, lack thereof. Hmm?"

Meanwhile, a couple of tables away, a newly pardoned lady legend heard everything that transpired at The Five's table. She was aching to go over there and give those gossips a piece of her mind, but she was still waiting for Undertaker to get out of his hearing with the Council. She was confident that he'd get a full pardon for the incident on the _Campania_. What she did in America wasn't considered a crime here, except for keeping her Death Scythe, but considering the type of work she does for the organization, the Council made an exception and allowed her to keep it.

Grell and Ronald approached the legendary lady's table. "Well, hello, my spider lily. I see that you're quite upset and you brought a friend with you today as well." The female legend extended her hand, taking Grell's in her own. "Sit with me, love. Your friend is welcome, too."

Grell sat beside the legend and let herself be held by her, taking comfort in the gentle strokes of her friend's long, feminine fingers in her crimson tresses. "I sense someone hurt you again."

Grell nodded against her friend's scarred chest. "Say nothing more, spider lily. You're beautiful no matter what." Grell felt a tender kiss on top of her head and closed her eyes.

The legendary lady laughed and turned to Ronald. "Forgive me, my manners are quite lacking. I am Vera. Who might you be?"

The blond reaper looked wide eyed at the scarred face of the female reaper comforting his former Senpai. "I am Ronald Knox," he said with a flirtatious wink and smile. "Nice t'meet ya."

"It is distressing to see such a beautiful lady so sad. A lady full of passion should never have tears in her eyes. My spider lily goes through this every day, yes?" Vera asked Ronald.

Before he could answer, Arashi sauntered up to the table with a mirthful expression on her face. She set her Death Scythe down with a metallic clang. The mirth quickly left her face at the sight of her Senpai curled up in distress. "I see Grell-Senpai has already heard what the office trolls said. I am deeply sorry, Senpai, that you have to hear that garbage," she said solemnly while bowing.

Vera raised a pale pink eyebrow. "There's no need to be so formal. Who are you?"

The young reaper rose to her full height. "It's a sign of respect. After all, I am in the presence of the only female legend, Vera. Additionally, my Senpai more than deserves respect." A smirk crossed the tall reaper's face. "My name-"

"Arashi, what an impressive scythe you have. Hehehe."

"'Taker, 'Taker, corpse maker!" Arashi smirked at the deafening silence surrounding the sounds of heavy boots echoing off the cafeteria walls.

"Hello, Adrian," Vera greeted without turning around. "I take it that the Council has granted you pardon, yes?"

Undertaker giggled.

"I take that as a yes." Vera flashed her mismatched eyes at Arashi. "You are welcome to join us, but it doesn't explain how you know Adrian."

"He's my uncle," Arashi replied. "Well, more like a figurative uncle. We have no blood relationship, and I refuse to look at him as a father figure or a friend. Too cool to be a dad, too close to be a friend."

"I see. Why didn't you tell me about this, Adrian?"

Undertaker shrugged and giggled in his own creepy way. "It wasn't necessary. I sent her to Siberia, anyway. Hehehe."

"They admit women," Arashi stated nonchalantly. "And, it's not a political statement. If you can reap, and your combat skills are superior, they don't give a fuck."

"Why are you here?" Ronald asked.

"They merged the Siberian and Russian divisions. The Russians don't admit women." Arashi rolled her eyes. "They certainly wouldn't have accepted my Senpai. Pieces of shit. I'd rather be here and be trained in London's ways of doing business with my Senpai than be a desk bound administrative bitch." The purple haired reaper rose her voice. "I know you heard me over there, and I can still hear everything you keep saying about my Senpai and my uncle."

Vera flashed a warning look at Undertaker. "My love, it seems we have to take care of some business. Our dear spider lily has been hurt by those females over there."

"Hehehe. Did they also say something about you in my absence?" Undertaker took on a dark aura as he questioned his ancient lover.

"Adrian, Adrian, Adrian. I thought you'd never ask. These gutter snipes for office workers around here seem to think that I fucked you to be the legend that I am. Listen for yourself," Vera said without a trace of sarcasm.

The two elder reapers advised Arashi to stay with Grell and Ronald at the table while they took care of business as they worded it. Undertaker and Vera used their respective powers to their advantage. Speed and stealth were essential for their plan, especially stealth, since they had to wait for just the right moment to interrupt the mudslinging. Unseen by The Five, the two legends waited and listened.

"Don't _even_ get me started on that Vera woman," Katy haughtily declared with a melodramatic eye roll. "She thinks she's some huge legend because she's fucking Undertaker. Well, she's not. She's a whore groupie. Worse than that now, since he's a freak has been loser. She dresses like a whore anyway I mean, just look at her. She is practically hanging out of her dress."

"Wait, I thought that the tranny freak was sleeping with Undertaker?" Sally questioned, looking up from the accounting paperwork she brought with her to lunch. "This is so confusing."

"You mean Grell? Who cares!" The general affairs manager, Mel, cried out, throwing her hands in the air. "They're all fucking each other!"

"Hello ladies," a sultry feminine voice drawled from behind The Five. "Quite a lovely afternoon for conversation, yes?"

All five office gossips turned around to meet the piercing, mismatched eyes and wickedly smiling, scarred face of the legendary lady reaper as she circled the table like a shark, sizing up the other females. The pink haired reaper took an uninvited seat at the table next to Katy. "Oh, dear _me_ , I have completely neglected my manners. I'm Vera. I'm _so_ very pleased to meet all of you. _Miss_ Sutcliff has told me _soooo_ much about _aaaaaaallllllllllll_ of you." Vera flashed venomous anger in her unique reaper eyes while maintaining a Stepford Wife façade.

Mel broke the shocked, confused silence. "Oh, that disgusting freak? You mean, you're friends with it?" she scoffed. "Pathetic."

Vera's grin never faltered. "My spider lily is no freak, as you ever so _lovingly_ put it." Her grin grew wider, her tone more menacing. "Don't you think it's a bit unladylike to call your _superior_ a whore behind her back, hm?" Her predatory gaze locked on to Katy.

As if on cue, Undertaker silently appeared behind Vera, tipping his odd top hat to the table of women before him. His usual creepy grin was plastered to his face.

"Hello, gorgeous," Vera sweetly greeted her lover as he wrapped his arms around her in a loving, yet possessive embrace.

"I was never able to sneak up on you," Undertaker pouted. He nuzzled his cheek on Vera's head and glared at the women through his silver fringe. "Are you having trouble with the ladies, m'dear? Ehehehehe."

"I'm the only lady at the table, my love."

"What in the nine circles of hell makes you say that?" Mel angrily demanded.

Vera put a slender finger to her chin in thought, then slammed both hands on the table. "Ooooohhhhh, I know!" she sang out with overenthused sarcasm. "Ladies don't go around telling other ladies that they should _kill themselves_ because they're a bit different."

"Grell is _not_ a lady. _It_ is a freak," Sally said defiantly, without looking up from her paperwork.

Undertaker suddenly appeared within inches of Sally's agitated face. "I don't recall seeing you reaping any souls, dear. The last time I checked, actual field work was required for reaping." He leaned closer to Sally, grabbing her chin in his long fingers to hold her head in place. "Grell is a lady if _she_ says _she_ is. I don't think it's time for me to fit you for your own custom made coffin, do you?" Sally shook her head. "Good." Undertaker giggled into his sleeves and skipped back to his ever grinning lover. He pulled her into another embrace and kissed her neck.

"I almost forgot, my dear Adrian, I'm your whore groupie! I could never have become a legend of my own right without sleeping my way to the top," Vera said sarcastically.

"Ehehehehehehe! I suppose _you're_ right again, lovely. You're the only lady at the table. I have one question, though." Undertaker tapped his nails together. "How did we find the time to do all this?"

"Gee, Adrian, I was about to ask you the same thing. Sure, you're a legendary reaper, but if I had stayed in the ranks, I wouldn't have made a name for myself. Was it not _you_ who pushed me out of the ranks?"

"As I recall, yes. Hehe. No one else can be a bounty hunter quite like you," Undertaker said affectionately. "I wouldn't have respected you as much if you remained a rank and file reaper. To be honest, I was a bit jealous of your becoming a legend before I was even promoted to management."

Vera smiled widely at The Five. "So much for your whore groupie theory."

"But you guys are sleeping together," Beth insisted.

Undertaker glared at her through his bangs. "We've been lovers long before we were legends." His trademark grin nearly split his face open. "Vera, my love, I have guests I must attend to. I'll see you back at the shop." He leaned down and whispered in her ear, tracing his long fingers along her jawline and down her throat, "I do so love your pink hair, but I love you more." He flipped her pink braid over her shoulder and scampered off, giggling like the madman he is.

"Childish asshole," Vera muttered.

Arashi, Ronald, and Grell waited anxiously at their table for Vera and Undertaker's return.

"Spider lily."

Grell looked up at Vera's softly smiling face. "Hi, Vera. Is everything alright?"

Vera gently cupped Grell's face in her hands. "They will not be bothering you anymore." Each word almost brushed Grell's lips as Vera spoke. "Anytime you want to come by the shop, you are always welcome. I always have our favorite. After all, we're both ladies."

xxxxxx

A couple of months later, the little bells over the shop's front door announced the arrival of a certain red reaper.

"Adrian, you...oh god... Was that the door?"

"Who cares if it was. I didn't say you could get dressed yet," Undertaker growled. He grabbed Vera from behind and threw her in a coffin, following close behind, giggling and shedding clothes as he did.

Grell heard muffled moans and giggling, some odd thumping, then a resounding "Oh, my death god, yes!", followed by a hearty round of laughter from two sets of voices. Grell cautiously ventured in the direction of the noises, unsure if it was a prank or not.

"Vera? Unny? It's me, Grell. I'm coming back there," the redhead called out. Receiving no objection, she pressed on.

A new round of giggles started up from inside a coffin. "Not there, Adrian. Ok, right there. That feels.....Adrian, I-"

"Mmmmm...Vera, what the fuck are you doing? Oh! Hehehehe! Stop tickling me! You know it turns me on. You're a little vixen, my dear."

"I want to go again. What the-"

Grell stood with a hand on her hip, tapping her foot. "Don't you know it's rude to keep a lady waiting," she scolded. "Just what were you two up to in there, anyway?"

"Coffin sex," Vera said with a shrug.

Undertaker burst into a fit of maniacal laughter and pulled his lover back into the coffin on top of him. A flash of clothing flew at them.

"Get dressed," Grell commanded.

Grell's dominant attitude made the two lovers laugh even more. Once both were finally dressed, they made their way to the front of the shop. Vera prepared peppermint and herb tea for herself and Grell and Earl Grey for Undertaker.

"How are things going?" Vera asked, smiling at Grell.

"Ronnie and I are together," Grell happily replied.

"I knew you were right, Adrian. I'm pleased to hear that," Vera said, handing Grell a beaker of tea. "I don't know how he does it, but he does. Adrian just knew that there was something between you and Ronald."

"Has anyone else given you any more problems?" Undertaker asked.

"I don't want to have to reap someone when they least expect it. It takes time away from my favorite things."

"Those ladies you guys, um, talked to don't bother me anymore. I don't trust them, though, so I stay away," Grell said confidently.

"How's my Arashi doing?" Undertaker inquired.

"I'm not her Senpai anymore. She got a promotion already. I guess if it wasn't for her previous years in Siberia, she'd be screwed. You know how our business treats ladies."

"She's going to be legendary one day, Adrian," Vera mused.

"With a Death Scythe like that, I would hope so. Hehehe."

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crosspost from my Wattpad account under the same username (CrookedMath).  
> All grammatical errors have been corrected.


End file.
